I have been reflecting a lot on the different challenges that people have to face in their lives. Each person is a book, there are many stories of courage and love. I am trying to write my story as coherently as possible. And this has been very difficult, since I have had to make decisions that are directly related to life and death. Making the decision to stop chemotherapy was not easy. Trusting that this is the right decision, knowing that my life is at stake, still remains a question. Only time will show if this is the way to go.
En estas últimas semanas he sentido toda la gama de emociones presente en mi vida. He pasado de la alegría a la tristeza, de una intensa ira a la tranquilidad, y así sucesivamente. He tenido que aprender a aceptar todas estas emociones, a pasar por ellas sin reprimir o evadirlas, y a fortalecerme de nuevo. Todos estamos en el proceso, algunos tienen unas cargas más pesadas, otros más livianas. Yo agradezco el hecho de estar viva, de poder respirar, caminar, comer, sentir, recibir y dar. Intento no dar nada por hecho y más bien apreciar hasta lo más pequeño que me rodea. Estoy en un proceso constante de entender que no tengo control, que es Dios el que está en control, y que aunque no entienda muchas cosas, en el fondo de mi alma sé que hay una razón para cada una de ellas. Todos los días me levanto, le doy gracias a Dios por un nuevo día y le pido que me de fortaleza y discernimiento. En estos momentos difíciles quiero más que nunca confiar en que es
Él el que está tomando las decisiones y enrutando mi vida.
Emotions
In these last few weeks I have felt the full range of emotions present in my life. I have gone from joy to sadness, from intense anger to tranquility, and so on. I have had to learn to accept all these emotions, to go through them without repressing or avoiding them, and to become stronger again. We are all in the process, some have heavier loads, others lighter. I appreciate being alive, being able to breathe, walk, eat, feel, receive and give. I try not to take anything for granted and rather appreciate even the smallest that surrounds me. I am in a constant process of understanding that I have no control, that it is God who is in control, and that although I do not understand many things, deep down in my soul I know that there is a reason for each one of them. Every day I wake up, I thank God for a new day and ask him to give me strength and discernment. In these difficult times I want more than ever to trust that it is He the one who is making the decisions and routing my life.